nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize