I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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