I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
