If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize