I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
