My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Randomize
