If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
