miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
