Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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