Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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