So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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