don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
