Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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