I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
