im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
and you fell through a lawn chair
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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