im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
