My nipple is on Facebook.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Randomize
