he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
