Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
