I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize