Pappa wants mamma naked
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
