Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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