And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize