I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
