Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
