ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
