Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
