It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
