In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
