His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
