I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
