I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
