oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
