Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
