I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
