This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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