Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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