i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
