She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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