Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Also, beer. Big fan.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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