I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
