I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
