:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
