just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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