OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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