i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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