Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
