Me too!
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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