i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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