White coat. Heels.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
