I must be too annoying 4 u.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
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