We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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