I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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