In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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