it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
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