This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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