Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
