I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
