your thong is hanging out like whoa
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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