the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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