Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
