Ambien. No doubt about it.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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