can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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